URN

There’s a lot more to the beautiful game than meets the eye. Anyone having a fairly unsuccessful season on Football Manager will testify to that. Making the right decisions as a manager in professional football is of paramount importance. After all – particularly in the lower leagues, people’s livelihoods often depend on it. With such pressure on the modern day manager, it’s hardly surprising that they need to let off steam every once in a while. As much as I sympathise, it’s fair to say that often the resulting tirades can be incredibly amusing. Therefore, I have compiled my top ten football manager rants, just to offer a little light relief as the intensity of the premier league season starts to build.....

10) Roy Keane
We’ve all seen it, Keane gives a fairly restrained dressing down to a reporter during a press conference. As I watched this back for one last time I can’t help but wonder, why he thought he’d let the phone ‘ring out’ – who does that?!

Swear Count: 1 Rant Rating: 4.8

9) Peter Reid
The former Sunderland, Leeds and Coventry manager had a fearsome reputation for his half time team talks, here a fourth official gets a little taste of a Reid rant.

Swear Count: 0 Rant Rating: 5.2

8) Harry Redknapp
Another one that quite literally every football fan has seen before but it doesn’t stop it being utterly hilarious. Here we get Redknapp’s uncompromising response to being unsuspectingly hit by a rogue shot on the training ground.

Swear Count: 7 Rant Rating: 6.0

7) Alex Ferguson
With a nickname of ‘the hairdryer’ it’s hardly surprising that Ferguson made the top ten, however, he’s far too self aware to give anything away on camera which made choosing a specific rant quite difficult. I did though, manage to come across a transcript in which Sky journalist Geoff Shreeves gets more than he bargained for after asking about Cristiano Ronaldo’s tendency to fall over in the box a little too easily...
Shreeves: I asked Ronaldo…

Ferguson: F***ing b***ard.

Shreeves: Don't talk to me like that. 

Ferguson: F**k off to you. 

Shreeves: Don't talk to me like that. Don't even think about it.

Ferguson: Don't you think about it, you ****. F**k off. Right? 

Shreeves: Listen, are you going to do the interview in a professional manner or not? Do you want to do it or not?

Ferguson: You f*****g be professional. You be professional. You're the one. 

Shreeves: I'm entitled to ask… Cristiano gave the right answer. 

Ferguson: F***ing hell with your answers.

Shreeves: Don't talk to me like that. Go away. If you want to behave civilly, fine. Don't talk to me like that. 

Ferguson: F**k off. (door slams)

Swear Count: 7 Rant Rating: 6.4

6) Neil Warnock
The former Sheffield United Boss was in charge of Huddersfield Town when this footage was taken. No wonder they got promoted that year if this was the consequence of impending defeat.

Swear Count: 17 Rant Rating: 7.1

5) Kevin Keegan
This interview on live television included what was subsequently voted the Quote of the Decade in the premier league 10 seasons award, it also appeared in Channel 4’s top 100 Sporting Moments. No swearing as such, but the clip gets to number five due to Kev appearing to lose his sanity.

Swear Count: 0 Rant Rating: 7.6

4) John Sitton
With Leyton Orient in financial dire straights in the 94/95 season, it was hardly an inspired idea to let a camera crew into the dressing room for an entire year. The subsequent documentary, called ‘Orient – club for a fiver’ was broadcast on Channel four and gave a chilling insight into the pressures of lower league football. The players rarely said too much, but that was no matter since Sitton was so eminently quotable himself. Here he pulls no punches when his side a 3-0 down to Brentford at half time.

Swear Count: 20 Rant Rating: 8.1

3) Joe Kinnear
Another relatively recent rant, Daily Mirror journalist Simon Bird didn’t know what hit him. Kinnear’s attempt to make friends with the Tyneside media hit a bit of a snag when he launched into a tirade that included 52 swear words...nice one Joe.

Swear Count: 52 Rant Rating: 8.6

2) Mike Basset
The character portrayed by Ricky Tomlinson was said to have been modelled on Peter Reid. Though only fictional, the explosion that takes place in the dressing room at half time when Basset finds his England side 2-0 down to Mexico at half time is little short of comedy gold – and worthy of a place in my top ten.

Swear Count: 27 Rant Rating: 9.3

1) John Sitton
The only man to manage two entries into the top ten. Another clip from the Leyton Orient documentary, he sacked fan favourite Terry Howard at half time (not even substituted, just sacked) on camera and proceeded to challenge two other players to a fight.... “and you can bring yer f*****g dinner” – classic, a perfect way to round off the chart. If you’re wondering, Sitton, whose win record stood at just 14%, was sacked in April of that season and Orient went on to be relegated after finishing bottom of the league.

Swear Count: 22 Ranting Rating: 9.7

- Ed Tarlton