I ain’t got nothing to say

14th November 2011

The English language, It’s a beautiful thing. But so ridiculously complicated. At one end we have the Queen, almost over pronouncing each and every word, and at the other we have an almost endless number of colloquialisms that make, in some cases, the language almost impossible to understand. I’m quite happily sat somewhere in the middle, and this, in my mind, is qualification enough to become part of the Grammer Police.

Some of these dialects date back hundreds of years, sme arnt tht old. It’s all very well and good being able to condense a page of writing down by turning it to text type, but if you if you can’t speak and read correct English then what hope do you have?

There is, of course, the whole your/ you’re/ their/ they’re/ there problem. How can it be so hard to use the correct word in a sentence? I know what you’re thinking right now, that this is a common problem amongst the less educated. All I will say to that is, if I had £1 for every time I saw “your silly” or “their coming now” or similar over the last 2 and a half years, I’d be swimming in it.

However the far more annoying trend is the double negative. This, I must say, is less of a problem among the Nottingham crowd. Having said that, whenever I find myself watching Traffic Cops or Road Wars or any other hideously repetitive crime TV show of that ilk, 9/10 times the first thing the typically bored looking youth says to the Police Officers is “I ain’t done nothing”. Between the moments of “WHAT IS HE SAYING?”, I often wonder if he/she realises they have just confessed in front of a TV camera to absolutely every crime ever committed.

You wouldn’t say “I haven’t haven’t got any food left” would you?

Who knows where this annoying trend has come from, but hopefully now, next time you’re about to use the words your/ you’re/ their/ they’re/ there or you’re about to whip out a double negative, you will think twice!

I think at this point I should probably say that I have spent more time proof reading this than any essay. Criticising grammar will inevitably lead to some ridiculously obvious spelling mistake. I’ve checked it, and checked it and checked it. If I’ve missed one, sod it.

Have a cool week guys, if you’re free 2-5PM Friday, come and join me on the airwaves – more details on my show page

Dan x

*If you haven’t spotted my deliberate mistake by now, then shame on you! Of course it should be “Grammar Police” and not “Grammer Police”