URN

Although the amount of listeners and texts was due to the unveiling of our new competition love on the line, we ignored that fact and pretended it was because we're the coolest kids around!

After the horrors that was Valentines day, combined with the popularity of selling our newsgirl Katie, we concocted the biggest and best feature known to man: 'Love on the Line', where a guy/girl phones in with a girl/guy in mind they want to ask out, and the best reasoning gets the chance to ask her on a free 3 course meal for 2 at the award-winning 1877!!

Congratulations to Dave & Hannah who beat off tough competition to win their dream date, tune in next week to see what's up for grabs!

We busted open the female phonomenon that is POSTSECRETS, where people send emo-style postcards to a website, saying daft things like:

- Sometimes I check local animal centres to see if my ex-husband got rid of the dog, the same way he got rid of me, which we decided meant she was just newly single, and wasn't living the life of debauchery that she expected, and:

- I’m a little girl trapped in a woman’s body which after much debating whittled down to either puberty issues, or she’s just showing off the fact she’s got a pair.

SORTED

Looking back on our show, the amount of alliteration used to create features startled me;

'Heard in Hallward' kicked off nicely with some disturbingly funny quotes overheard in Hallward; "I had such good chat last night, shame she was my cousin. I had her frothing" being a particular favourite!

In the news this week it was announced that big bums are healthy, and after discovering an online game where you have to tell the difference between a 'Bum or a Boob', we invited Hugh from the pulse in to challenge Matt's female body knowledge, the overall score was Matt 6- Hugh 5!

We chatted about 'House Hunting' and whether we had any tips for things to look out for in a student house, concluding that a microwave isn't an appliance, it's a way of life!

We restarted our favourite feature 'Text Crisis' where people who went to Crisis @ Rock City text in with their embarrassing stories and texts, my favourites being:
“I just want you to know that the entire hall can hear you, ‘Captain C*ck’!”- Jack
"I did a striptease for my boyfriend and stood on an upturned plug"- Anon

And we had a taster of our international fame with people texting in from Sicily, New York, and... KEELE!

See you next week!

This week we were graced with the presence of Tim Watkins, star of New Theatres penultimate production 'Rhinocerous', which is on from the 2nd-5th December. We squashed the rumour of full frontal nudity, but Tim suggested there may be partial nudity, which is enough for us to express interest!

We continued our 'Text Crisis' feature, in which people send in their drunken texts from last night at Rock City, heres some of our favourites:
“Dude I woke up in a pile of chocolate chips, this has to stop happening”- Joe
“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed my tutor last night. Oh my god. Oh my god.”- Anonymous

Keep up the drunken banter Notts!

Matt had been boasting about his superior knowledge, so I threw a fact or false quiz his way, he tripped up over 2 questions, one of which being that the Yo Yo originated as a weapon.

Finally we looked at the disgraceful website that is beautifulpeople.com, where they rate peoples profiles and kick them out if they're not beautiful enough. We both signed up and got this email:

Dear Sir,
Unfortunately, your application to BeautifulPeople Network was not successful. The members of BeautifulPeople did not find your profile attractive enough. Please note, only one in five applicants are currently accepted into BeautifulPeople.com.
BeautifulPeople welcomes you to apply again, perhaps with a better photo.

Gaz sheepishly went through a list of formal apologies that spawned from his 21st birthday house party at the weekend, including Gaz & Matt's how to: lose friends at your own 21st birthday party!
This included:
1. Retire early to the bathroom, ignore the queue, curl up into a ball in the bathtub, puke, whilst allowing a friend to occasionally unblock the drain.
3.When everyone gathers to present you with a cake, firstly tell every girl except your girlfriend in the room that you love them, then continue to blow out the candles seconds previous to throwing up.
5.Get so drunk that your brain starts to think that opening doors is better with your head at ramming speed instead of your hand.
10. Finally ensure that by 1am you are too drunk to function and collapse on a German exchange student that hardly knows you, and expect him to put you to bed. Bonus points if he removes your shoes.

Brilliant! Check out the photo of Matt attempting to prop a paraletic Gaz up!!

We also tried out our new feature Hang-Up Karaoke with guests Kate & Danielle. We each phoned a friend and had to include a song chosen by the listeners into the phone conversation without them figuring it out or hanging up, here's how it all went:

This week we puzzle over social rights and wrongs, which includes a phone call to 'MR K' at 'University X' who has just returned from a rugby 'welcome party' (which we all know means gruesome initiation!). Listen to a clip of the destruction he faced:

We also ponder over such life-altering social mannerisms like urinal manners; whether a proud nod is taboo, or simply face forwards and NEVER make eye contact.

Lets be honest, the whole etiquette idea was formulated when Gaz got stuck in the Portland revolving doors with 4 other victims, so we discussed how daft an idea that was with our very own newsreader Hugh!