I managed to come 7th last year. This year I’m gunning for 6th and hopefully in 5 years I will be your SU president.Some people in the past have described me as a ‘5 out of 10’.I have achieved over 20,000 Gamerscore on Xbox 360 showing consistency, persistence, hard work and going beyond the hours other people put in.

I once posted a facebook status which received 75 likes which accurately portrays my social skills both on and offline as well as how agreeable and likeable I am.

To further convince, which hopefully I have already done I will now list things that I am not; thief, murderer, caterpillar, Columbian drug lord.

My policies:

Courgette Tuesdays.

More and better Mental Health Services.

Squirrels should be trained to retrieve lecture notes from the front of the lecture and distribute them to pupils when the lecturer arrives a little late with the lecture notes and everyone is already seated. This will stop crowding around a box of knowledge paper.

Everything should be cheaper (free gym, SU shop, Mooch)

Urgent appeasement of the Gods, via ritualistic sacrifice and temple building.

The hopper bus should actually hop.

Instigate the best policies of the other candidates.

More policies TBC